I don’t have a “new year new me” resolution. I don’t have one at all in fact. I’m a mom, a wife, and a behavior Analyst. I have a lot on on plate and setting goals and expectations that are unobtainable aren’t something I have time for. But last year I made some pretty big changes in my life. Slowly, easily, and without any specific timeline. I let go of things out of my control, I forgave, and I spent more time loving myself. I’m so much happier and healthier. And able to spend more time being a good wife and mother.
I stopped apologizing for nothing. Seriously the amount of times “sorry” used to come out of my mouth was absolutely disgusting. That’s not to say I took it entirely out of my vocabulary, I just stopped using it unnecessarily.
I stopped making excuses for my daughter. Seriously this was a huge one. She is very choosy when it comes to people outside her mommy and daddy. This depends greatly on how much exposure she has to someone and how they treat her when they are around her..I finally decided that I shouldn’t be making excuses for her not liking someone who spends no time investing in her. How is that any different than me not wanting to be around someone who doesn’t want to be around me? I’ll tell you how..it’s not.
I also started investing in myself. I spent more time reading, writing, taking bubble baths, and lifting weights. I can’t even begin to tell you how therapeutic this is. I’ve read more books in the past year than I have in a long while. My body looks better than it did before I got pregnant and for a 30 year old mother with a career, I feel damn good.
I let go of people who refused to be kind. But most importantly I let go of the guilt I felt for letting those people go. Stopped chasing people who were running, and started focusing on myself and my family. My family who was sitting right in front of me while I stressed, cried, and felt guilty about people who didn’t give me a second thought. And stopped waiting for apologies that I knew were never going to come.
I stopped letting other people affect me so much. People are just downright rude in New Jersey. They look at you crazy for holding a door open, they NEVER smile..I mean passing someone in the grocery store, I’ll smile. Not these people. The nicer you are to them, the worse the look you’ll get in return. So I had to work really hard not let the plethora of bad attitudes bring me down with them. To float above it.
I made myself a chore chart. Yep you read that right. I plan to do an entire post about this because it has literally made the biggest difference ever.
All of this not to say that I’m somehow perfect and don’t need to improve. I do. I’m still working on me everyday. That’s not at all the point. The point is we put too much pressure on ourselves. This one day a year becomes so important for change, but every single day is a chance for change. You don’t have to wait for the New Year. And if you don’t meet your goals right away, or “fall off the band wangon” as they say, get up and keep going. You got this.